Pedos Venezolanos: A People With The World's Highest Per Capita Consumption Of Scotch Whiskey

We drove outside of Caracas towards Maracay, a city that was once the capitol of Venezuela under Juan Vicente Gomez, ruler of the country for a quarter century. The man driving , talking knowingly of the countryside, was Juan Vicente Zerpa, general manager of the most popular professional baseball team in Venezuela, Los Leones de Caracas, and husband of my second cousin, Sabina. I spent much of the day before with his children, Juan-chi and Juan-V, teaching them of Biomes, life cycles, pollution and oil (they had a test fast approaching). We passed through mountains where fires were set and left, seemingly unmaned, to burn a perfect bed for Sugar Cane. Besides the mountains, only one thing stood out: The factories. We, in the United States, have the impression (or no impression at all) that Venezuela is a place where poor men and women sell chiclet on the roadside and  ride a rickety bus blasting spanish rap to buy tortillas for their meager dinner of Frijoles Negros. Venezuela is full of industry, roads and traffic lights (They even have round-abouts!). It is so industrialized that one barely notices the favelas that spill like a horrendous hawaiian shirt over the outskirts of the cities.
We arrived in Maracay where unlike Caracas, whose climate is tempered by the mountains, the temperature soared to 35*C. I entered an apartment on the ~8th floor of a nicely decorated building (very modern) of a family of family. Slowly, The Uncles of my Cousin, Sabina, trickled in... or should I say exploded. I stood with caution, unsure of the customs until a glass of champagne was forced in my hand. In that moment I sensed what was happening, and I relaxed. "Drink" they said and I quickly obliged.
I took a couple moments to watch the group carrying glasses of Scotch Whisky (12-18 years old), each with a single paper napkin wrapped around the glass. A cousin of my cousin, a dentist, approached me to misdiagnos a problem with my tooth asking me how to say "necrosis" in english. I said "si necrosis" and promptly held my hand to my mouth, hiding a tooth that, too my knoweldge, is alive and well. I was asked by Arkangel, a man who studied forestry in Meria, to speak of the insect order Coleoptera, which he mistated as being moths (Lepidoptera). Finally, I sat next to another of the troublesome brothers. He said to be very careful in Merida because there are many beautiful women there. He proceeded to tap the top of his head indicating what would mean "wear a hat" in any other conversation. "Entiendes" he asked. "Pienso" I replied. I had no idea what he meant, for it is a big jump to assume that tapping one's head means "where a condom." But that is what I took from the conversation, and I am glad to say that it is advice I hope to follow some day.